Do you feel uncomfortable when another person wants to limit your area of development and growth? Do you deal with someone who pushes your buttons in a way that gets you mad or upset? What do you do when someone steps on the limits of your comfort zone?
These questions refers to the kind of people that you will learn how to deal with, by using the following three powerful coaching techniques explained on this blog very easily. You may try each one of them and see for your self which one of them fits your situation better.
Nevertheless, the following coaching techniques require that you practice them always, even if you are not successful at the beginning. But that's only because you will be developing your skills on these techniques. And more importantly, you must develop patience and persistence. Here they are:
This means, act, talk, and think using the same energy level used by the DP. For example, use the same body language DP is using, speak with the same speed and tone of voice they speak, be direct and brief in your message.
Do not imitate them. Show respect. Pacing is about getting in their energy level for communication. Do it respectfully.
Imagine just for a moment that you are in their skin and feel the energy they use to communicate with you. This is not about escalating your behaviour or theirs. This about letting them know your message via their own energy.
This technique requires practice. Even if you get it right the first time, you may get it wrong the next time. Don't be disappointed, keep practicing. Be curious and pay attention to their reaction to your communication. This is the feedback you need to adjust your pacing.
2.- Don't Play their Power Game
DP have realised that their dominant behaviour have brought them reward and satisfaction in their lives. This behaviour has worked for them beautifully. Therefore, they repeat their dominant and controlling behaviour again and again, so they feel the flavor of victory when they get what they want in the way they want it.
They have been building their personality based on these experiences because they have had success with applying dominant behaviours. One of their favourite strategy is to rope you into an argument and try to break you down with nonsense and unfair statements. They love to taste how far they can go testing you.
Do not fall in this trap. Don't argue with DP because this is what they want. Dps love arguing. Avoid any chance to accept their invitation to argue. Instead, take a deep breath and imaging yourself observing the waves of your favourite beach, relax and breath. Don't show any reaction. But if you really must, then say something as neutral as possible and avoid to give a reason to start an argument. You could say something like: "I'm hearing what you're saying but let me think about it" and leave the place.
DP will try to push your buttons to make you upset or angry, so they can get their way and feel that they have won the confrontation. They are passionate about wining arguments, no matter how they get to win.
Calmly Be Firm and Assertive
This is not about showing yourself aggressive. You don't need to show yourself mad or angry in order to make a firm statement. This is about being firm when expressing your statement. On the contrary, be emotionless.
Dominant People, DP, don't accept boundaries easily. But that's their business. Ours is about teaching them how to treat us and also, we must remain them ALWAYS when they are crossing the boundaries.
Tell a DP when they have crossed a boundary. If an invitation to argue start, don't play the power game. Just be calm, express yourself emotionless and bring into awareness your boundaries.
Don't show emotions while DP tries to break you down because that is exactly what they want you to do. Instead, breath deeply and slowly. Imaging yourself in a very relaxed scenario and when you are ready to continue talking, say your message again. Be firm.
Remember, DP only knows how to be dominant and controlling because that's what has worked for them so far... until now. Don't take it personally. They were already ticking that way before they met you.
If someone you love or someone you care about is a DP, explain them the reasons why you love them or care about them, and also, bring into their awareness the behaviour that is affecting your relation and how you would like this person to behave with you. Love and kindness is a powerful intermediary.
In my previous blog with the title, Experience being a Life Coach, I explained about the solution focus brief therapy, the energetic pace, the systemic-energetic-gestalt approach and the relation of neuroscience in coaching. In this post I will introduce you to something new, coaching using a positive oriented method.
What is Coaching with a Positive Oriented Method?
As we know, a solution oriented approach is a very objective method, identifies previous successes, defines solution strategies and it is very goal oriented and that is great. But I have realized while working with this method, that achieving a goal implies much more than that. This means, sometimes we can have a well defined goal but it does not inspire us enough to achieve it, so the goal stays put.
Another example is that sometimes the goal is really ambitious or really big, and we start feel scared to commit or to go after it because it doesn’t go with our core values or because we can disadvantage another person if we achieve this goal, etc… So ,it is time to look for the positive in ourselves and bring it to our goal. In this way, our goal is a positive solution for us. In other words, we work with solution and positive oriented goals.
This positive oriented method is based in some of the techniques and models of Positive Psychology. This discipline is use to help people to identifying and nurturing their strongest qualities, what they own and are best at, and helping them find niches in which they can best live out these positive qualities (Martin Seligman).
Coaching with a positive oriented style is not Positive Psychology, but a small derivate of it. Positive Psychology is a huge and broad discipline that is growing with new studies and researches every day.
There is so much information about Positive Psychology out there, that it will overwhelm you if you try to reach the whole scope. In my coaching workshops in Success Choices, we will talk about some practical tools that we will use for ourselves and our clients to promote wellbeing and development. One of these tools is the PERMA model (Martin Seligman)
An overview about the PERMA Model of Martin Seligman
There is a theory about well-being, called hedonism, that proposes that a balance of positive over negative emotions is all there is to living a good life. The topic of positive psychology is well-being. In his book “Flourishing”, Seligman presents the Well-Being Theory. He said that well-being is a construct. This means that we can build our well-being. To achieve and increase wellbeing, it is necessary to measure the elements that contribute to well-being. The PERMA model was created as a tool to measure these elements: positive emotions, engagement, meaning, positive relationships and accomplishment. Seligman makes clear that these elements don't define well-being, they just help to achieve well-being. Let's see what these elements are about:
POSITIVE EMOTIONS: it is the ability to be optimistic and see the past, present, and future from a positive angle. This positive view in life can help you in relationships, work, and inspire you to be more creative and take more chances. This type of positive emotion is needed, as when someone enjoys the tasks in their lives they are more likely to persevere and battle challenges through creative and alternative solutions.
ENGAGEMENT: It is about something that completely absorbs us into the present moment, creating ‘flow’ or a blissful immersion into the task or activity. This type of ‘flow’ of engagement is important to stretch our intelligence, skills, and emotional capabilities.
RELATIONSHIP: Do you have a good relationship with yourself and others? Building positive relationships are important. It gives you support, love, friendship, good companion and when you also give love, support, and do something good for others, you feel also happy and fulfilled. Identify your good and your bad relations and get rid of the bad ones, Keep and nurture the good ones. This increase enormously your wellbeing and happiness.
MEANING: To understand what you do in any particular moment, and why you chose to do that, will help you enjoy life more and become more satisfied and happier.
ACCOMPLISHMENT: Having goals and ambition in life can help us to achieve things that can gives us a sense of accomplishment. You should make realistic goals that can be met and just putting in the effort to achieving those goals can already give you a sense of satisfaction, when you finally achieve those goals a sense of pride and fulfillment will be reached. Having accomplishments in life is important to push ourselves to thrive and flourish.
Being aware of these elements when we take a decision or define a goal is a good way to plan wellbeing in the moments to come, in the future. And being aware of this elements in the present moment, help us to live a better life.
I am very happy to announce my upcoming workshop called, Experience being a life coach, as part of the requirements to engage in a series of coaching workshops for 2017.
Experience being a life coach is a 4-hour session designed to introduce you gradually to different coaching methodologies. Some of them are based on solution focused psychotherapy methods, but also we will talk about fresh topics in coaching like the latest discoveries in neuroscience and its implications in coaching. Here I am listing some of the topic you will be introduced to during the coaching workshop:
The Solution Focused Brief therapy, SFBT
The SFBT focusses on helping the client to be an expert in building solutions rather than analyzing and thinking about the problem. It is called a brief therapy because it can last from one to five sessions. It was developed at the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee by Steve De Shazer, his wife Insoo Kim Berg and their colleagues from the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee, USA in the early 80s.
This group of psychotherapist discovered that problems do not happen all the time. This means, there are periods of time when the problem is not present, or people are not aware of it, or the problem is less intense, and therefore, people do positive things that they are not fully aware of. These positive things are unaware success strategies people do. By focussing on solutions, the therapist bring these successes into people awareness, so they can improve their lives and become more confident to make a change following their own solutions and not the solutions suggested by the therapist.
Due to the incredible effective tools of this approach, many coaches have taken this method into their portfolio, to help clients to achieve results in short periods of time and bringing their attention to focus on what works, on solutions and on possibilities. The coaches do not suggest any solution at all, they must discover the previous successes of the client and bring them into her awareness. In this way the client solves her problem using strategies that she had used before.
Some of the active ingredients of the solution focused brief therapy are:
Coaching using solution focused brief therapy ingredients is an effective way to work with a client that you see for the first time, because you can use questions that let you know more of your client and also help your client to think about what has already worked for her before.
The Systemic-Gestalt Approach
Working with systemic-gestalt methods means helping your clients to understand themselves by being aware of themselves and the vulnerability of the environment due to their behaviours, thoughts and feelings they put out there.
The systemic coaching comes from the systemic therapy. The method treated not only the client on the individual level, but also the different group of people she interacts with, and takes in consideration the interactional patterns and dynamics in the different relationships the client has.
There are many different approaches to the systemic therapy. Originally the systemic therapy has its roots in the family systems therapy which has also based its ideas from the field of systems theory and cybernetics. But, let's try to focus in one angle instead of the whole spectrum of systems and its constellations.
It is very common to find coaches that have learned the method of systemic constellation by Bert Hellinger. But this is not the only one and it is not the one you will learn in the workshop. For that purpose, there are coaching schools that specialises only on teaching his methods, as well as, online training about it.
Another fascinating approach is the Gestalt Therapy of Laura and Fritz Perl. Gestalt Therapy hat its origins from the Gestalt Psychology in Germany. Gestalt therapy uses an existential approach and considers a client’s "here and now” experience. The initial goal for a client is to gain awareness of what they are experiencing and doing at that time in their life. This type of therapy encourages the client to directly experience a situation rather than talk about it.
In the Gestalt therapy, the client learns to manage the Self using her awareness in the present moment. Gestalt therapy takes into account the dynamics of the interplay between three aspects of client’s personality: Feelings, Thinking and Behaving. Gestalt therapy helps to bring the attention of the client to what is here and now.
So, what do we have to do with that in coaching? Well, this is a great method to bring the client to find answers within. This answer can manifest through feelings, thoughts, behaviours and intuition. We as coaches can help to create the conditions for the proper session environment, when we know the right methods to do so. And in our workshop, you will learn about it and you will try a Gestalt exercise.
The Energetic Pacen
Many people think that there are only two ways to communicate, verbal communication and body language. But they are not the only ones. There is third kind. This is the energetic communication or the energetic language.
In order to understand what energetic language is, let us see energy as information that we can perceive through our body senses, but also the information we can perceive through our intuition.
In this way, we can perceive different message of information when we are in the presence of other people. In a coaching session occurs the same. As a coach, we can transmit an energy that makes our client feel saved, or that makes her feel that we care about her and her situation, that we understand her and that we know what she is talking about. We show our empathy and compassion. We can communicate that we are connected.
During the coaching workshop you will learn a method to help you develop this connection and awareness about the energy signals that occurs when we are in front of other people.
Neuroscience in Coaching
What is neuroscience and what does it have anything to do with our coaching workshop?
Neuroscience is the science that studies how the nervous system develops, its structure, and what it does. Neuroscientists focus on the brain and its impact on behavioural and thinking processes.
As coaches, we will not go deep into this subject, but we will learn in a very simplified way, what is going on in the brain of our clients when having a coaching session and what kind of exercise we can use to help them open up and communicate better.
This topic is just an introduction to coaching with neuroscience and covers the central and peripheral nervous systems, the “second and third brains”, (well known as the gut and heart) and we will talk about some of the brain chemicals and how this chemicals affects the way we think, feel and behave.
The important thing in coaching with neuroscience is that it shows us that the way we coach affect directly the way our client's brain process the information and exercises during the session. If we coached problem oriented or if we provoke a negative reaction in the client, she will not open up to change and thrive.
But if we coach very supportive and solution focused, we will help our client's brains to be more receptive and therefore, more willing to think about solutions, being more positive and achieving change or personal transformation.
Let me know what you think about this post and send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This coaching workshop will take place in October and November 2016. Register now paying the early bird fee (only 69 CHF) until October 7, come to the workshop and experience being a life coach!
I am looking forward to greeting you at the coaching workshop!
As a woman entrepreneur, I have lived good and also challenging times. Lately I have had more challenging scary times than good times. So I started doubting if I should go on with my business dream or not. It seemed like not, until some kind of business couching from heaven reached me in the right moment. And because it came from heaven, this coaching was free of charge, enlightened my mind and injected my heart with so much optimism, that here I am, writing about it.
Since three weeks ago I have been looking for an answer about how to continue with my business project in spite of a big challenge that threated me with putting the project out.
Looking for help I have talked to business people, I have read 5 books about Sales and Marketing, I have done meditation, and have looked for business coaching on the internet that could help me, but it seemed to be that, if I wanted to get some clarity of mind, I had to pay thousands of Swiss Francs for that. So I was very disappointed.
Then today, I saw a post in Facebook about a free webinar that started in exactly three minutes from the moment I saw it. This webinar was about business coaching and at the end, it offered a Q&A session where I was able to ask anything I wanted. OMG, this was so fenomenal! So, I registered immediately and started my webinar. I listened to all what the business coach was explaining. All her tips were super valuable information for me to help me to understand my situation and the problems that I am facing now.
I took notes the whole time. I started to see hope in my business project again and now I understand that what I was living was just another day in the life of an entrepreneur, nothing else. So, from that moment I stopped magnifying my challenge. I listened carefully what this intelligent business coach had to say. It blowed my mind. I started to think about solutions and new ideas to redefine my business plan. It just clicked on my mind. Now I got it! But I also understand that I could go further if this business genius would coach me, so I could get my best, to be my best in my business, and in my market.
You might be asking, OK, but who is this person you are talking about?
I am talking about Chichi Eruchalu and her CEO Mastery Group in Facebook. She offers webinars free of charge with key information for people who are starting a business. This is information that works! Chichi Eruchalu has a master mind group program to coaching you on how to develop your business.
It is really a miracle that today I have founded out about this free webinar with Chichi Eruchalu. This wonderful woman and business genius that offers not only free webinars, but also professional business consulting services and business coaching programs for entrepreneurs.
Here is her website link http://chichieruchalu.com and visit her group in Facebook. Chichi Eruchalu is really a great business coach.
Thank you Chichi for giving me hope again.
During my summer holidays I have met a man who was physically very similar to Donald Trump. He was around 70 years old, small (1,60 M), same hair color and style like Donald Trump, he does not look very friendly either and even though he came from New York, he was originally from Georgia (Russia). He came to spend two weeks holidays in Aruba with his wife. When I first met him, I was doing the queue at the hut where one can lease the deck chairs at the beach in order to get four for me and my family. Suddenly little Donald Trump came to me and complained that I had taken his place at the queue.
He argued that I took his place while he was training with his soccer ball 30 meters from the queue. He told me that he can not just sit and wait until the office for the chair-rental opens. And he also said that this was his chair even though he was away playing soccer by himself. I told him that I understood and I just took a place after his empty chair. But he still continued complaining and talking to the air about my mistake of having taking his chair for two minutes. People looked at him but nobody was formally in his conversation.
I had the impression that he was honest and that he is the kind of person that says the things exactly the way he experiences it, so he expresses his own true.
Next day, I arrived again after him. I took a chair behind his chair and I start reading. Then a woman came and she took his place. I explained her that this chair was already occupied by the man who was playing soccer by himself over there, but she didn't care, she was impolite and told me that if he was playing, he lost his chair and she just took his place. All the people in the queue look at her without saying a word. After a while she felt so uncomfortable that she just left and I put my book on the chair to avoid that it happens again. Little Donal Trump watched everything and looked at her with a mad face. He came back to his place and I took my book to let his chair free. He started to tell how impolite that woman was and how shocked he was with the abusive behaviour of that woman.
I did not know to whom he was talking to. To me? To the whole line of people? To himself? Is it possible that I paced him unconsciously and he was talking to me?
The next day I decided I will coach little Donald Trump
The next day I arrived early. I was the second person in the queue to reserve the deck-chairs. Little Donald Trump arrived a bit later and was on the fifth place in the queue. Then he walked to a terrace that was about 30 meters away from the queue and started playing soccer by himself. I put my book on his chair to reserve his place and avoid problems. He came and started to talk to me and to the other people in the line. I guess he was in a good mood. He was funny and the people liked him and we all laugh with him at his jokes. It was interesting to see how my first impression of him were changing: from a grumpy old little man to a total social success with the people of that place. Everything was fine until he started to talk about the social and political situation in the USA. That was pretty uncomfortable for many people in the line because all of them were Americans, who were on vacation and don't want to talk about politics. Some of the people started to use their phones, other continued reading their books and I was left there listening to his complain about how bad the situation was. I felt uncomfortable, but then I thought, that was my chance to coach little Donald Trump!
I did not talk about politics, but I listened to him in order to find the spots where I could turn around the conversation from complaining to a solution oriented perspective. It was not easy, that was a real challenge. He talked a lot and I couldn't find the turning point. I tried to discover the figure and the ground of his theme. I just wanted to figure it out, what was behind his concern. After a big while I thought that not finding solutions to the social and political situation for his neighbourhood was his real problem. In such a case the hypothetical frame was an excellent tool to work with.
If you were President of the United States what would you do?
I asked. He looked at me as if he didn't expected that question at all. He was speechless. I let him a while in his astonishment but I was waiting for him to answer. He asked me, "What do you mean with that?" He looked upset. He thought I was joking. I just asked the question again with all respect. He told me his first solution. And I asked, "What else?" It really does not matter if the solution was right or wrong. The important thing was to bring him in a position to open up and to bring his awareness to focus on solutions. He started to tell one thing after the other. He started to have fun telling me about how he would solve all the problems of his neighbourhood and he got happier with every answer he was telling me. At the end he said, "I know, I am not a President. But it was fun to talk about it".
And that is exactly what was our conversation about: to change from problem oriented to a solution oriented conversation and it was great even though it was not a formal coaching session!
Life coaching is not only what coaching training schools can tell you. All those definitions are pretty boring to me. The first time I heard about life coaching, I didn't get so much mumbo-jumbo about how to be a coach and how complicated life coaching would be. I know that life coaches speak in their own coaching language and it may follow different styles and methodologies. In these circumstances, it is normal to be confused and check with wikipedia in order to get an idea about life coaching, even though we all know how inaccurate Wikipedia could be. Anyway, it doesn't hurt to check on what Wiki has to say about life coaching. We just have to be clear that Wikipedia is not the ultimate truth.
This blog offers part of my truth about life coaching. So, let's check the following seven points about Life Coaching and see how easy it can be to talk about it. May be you want to become a life coach too, who knows?
1.- Life Coaching Offers You Rewarding Experiences
One of the most exciting experiences I have had, was when I coached an american couple who were facing a big challenge in their lives at that moment. They also seemed a bit sceptic about coaching. But after I answered all their questions, there was no other choice for them to start answering to my first question. After a while and after a lot of paying attention to what they said and felt, we connected. They started to open up and being more receptive. During our conversation I could see more spots that needed my full attention to be clarified. Then, I asked them some questions. They had some remarkable A-ha moments they couldn't explain with words, but instead, they immersed in their feelings and reached peace of mind. Finally they show themselves relaxed and their face expressions showed such a beautiful warm look I cannot describe. After that moment I gave them some time before we start working on solutions, but they were not ready for that yet. This peaceful feeling conquered the room and the session was almost finished. Before they say good-bye, they explained to me that they never have been so enlighten about what was happening to them. That was more than enough for me to know that they were on the right track to solve their situation. I saw their faces full of hope. Even though they didn't find their solution right there, it doesn't matter because they are on their way to find it. I trust that baby steps bring big changes.
2.- Life Coaching is as Wide as Life is
What type of themes can you bring to a life coaching session? You can talk about whatever you want. You can talk about your actual love life, work life, social life and spiritual life. You can talk about your goals, your plans and your wishes. You can talk about looking for solutions and making big changes that will transform your life or you may just go step by step to realise small changes in your life. The important thing is that you clarify your mind and discover the way you function to achieve success.
3.- Everybody is an Undercover Life Coach
We are all masters in life and we can learn from each other at the present moment. It depends on our perception, on where we are directing our attention. A person and a situation have many different meanings according to the way we perceive reality. We learn not only from the good friends and the nice or the positive people we meet. I know this is what we all prefer to experience. But everybody can teach us something. The people we don't like without any reason, are showing us what we are projecting on them. So let's learn what is that we don't like about them and let's change it in ourselves. Then we can not change the others, that's an illusion. Interestingly we can realise that we feel different when we are with different people. This is so important when we look for a coach to talk to. That's the same great feeling we have, when we talk to a friend drinking a cup of coffee. We feel comfortably and understood.
4.- Life Coaching is about being Human, not Perfect
When someone tells you that s/he is a life coach, what is your first expectation of the person? Some people think life coaches are the perfect happy people, who've discovered the source of happiness or that life coaches are enlightened Buddhas and know the path to be out of suffering.
I have never ever met a life coach like that. All of them look pretty imperfect and normal to me. All of us have problems and all of us also need a good life coach that help us to be fit.
All life coaches need a life coach too. I have my own life coach too. And this is an investment in myself.
5.- Life Coaching Won't Be Standardised by Any Association
Life coaching can not be standardised. Anyone can be a life coach without any training and these are called Intuitive Life Coaches. Many sport coaches retire from the sport world and enter in the business world as executive coaches and they don't have any life coach certification either. Nevertheless, they do a good job and the main clients for these ex-sport-coaches are executive men. Unfortunately the coaching world have some perils that wants to standardised coaching. These are international organisations that also present a list of schools they recommend. If you do not learn coaching by any school of their list, they will not accept you in their global association of coaching.
Life coaching is as wide as life is. Life coaching is as varied as people on this planet and that is why it cannot be standardised.
6.- Life Coaching Can Be Manipulative in The Wrong Hands
That is so true! As I already told you before, I also use life coaching to be fit. It means, I use life coaching to clear up my mind, to define good plans and good strategies to achieve my goals. Therefore, I have had many different coaching sessions with different life coaches. As a client I have experienced that my plans, dreams and goals were deflated like a ballon, when I got the wrong coach four years ago. But this experience did not disappoint me. I just comprehend that I got the wrong life coach and I decided to look for right one for me. I found more than one. During these experiences I learned that It is very important to book a first session to get to know you coach and see if you can trust him/her your theme.
7.- How to Choose a Life Coach
First get clear about why do you want life coaching. Do your homework and read his/her testimonies and reviews. Read his/her website, Facebook-page and other social media references. Then, call her on the phone and pay attention to your feelings about her/his voice. Notice if she/he only talks or only listen. Is it all about you or about her? Book a first session just to get to know her/him and pay attention to your feelings and to your intuition.
There are many ways to become a life coach in Switzerland. These are the two ways I know:
The certified life coach
There are many schools in Switzerland offering coaching training in German, French and Italian,. Recently there is a new option to become a life coach in Switzerland in English: the Certified Success Choices Life Coaching Training. This course focusses on psychological coaching methods that produce results in the client's behaviour in an effective way using the client's own solution system.
This is an intensive training program in English designed to prepare individuals to facilitate formal coaching engagements to help their clients to build solutions, to thrive, to find their way in life. The methods are from psychological coaching, they are goal-oriented and based on positive psychology, solution focused brief therapy, systemic and gestalt coaching and cognitive neuroscience, all methods are integrated under the philosophy of Success Choices meta skills of coaching.
The training uses theoretical and practical knowledge from the following methods in psychological coaching:
All these methods are integrated under the approach of Success Choices meta skills and phases of coaching. If you want to get to know the Success Choices meta skills of coaching come to our info event on November 2016.
Life coach without formal training
There are many people who are working as life coaches and executive coaches without having learned any formal training. Some of them come from the business and sport field and others have no background at all.
Some steps further are....
Life Coaching in Zurich: How to choose a Life Coach in Zurich
1.- Google using these words, life coaching in Zurich for expats
There are at least more than 1.020.000 links about life coaches in Zurich, but how to choose the right one for you? A big group of life coaches base their practices on a particular subject area such as business, relationships, grief, weight loss, family issues, children and teenagers, dating coaching, life coaching for women, life coaching for expats, etc. Before choosing a life coach, think about what you need life coaching for. If you are having problems with your boss at work, you don't want to choose a personal life coach whose focus is on grief.
There are life coaches who do not work specialised on any subject, but in general life. Look for the life coaches in Zurich that have their services more defined.
If you look for a life coach in Zurich that can help you with your particular situation or problem, then include in the google search some words that define or specify your subject, for example:
2.- Check at least 5 different life coaches in Zurich
Don't go to the first life coach in Zurich that you find on the list of the 1.020.000 links on google. After specifying and concretising your search, choose between 3 to 5 coaches that are specialised in what you need. Study their website and find out if what he/she offers, is what you need. Check with them for a free session to get to know them and the methods they use.
3.- Trust your intuition. Does this life coach resonate with you?
Pay attention to your feelings when you are having your free session. Do you feel understood? Do you feel that your coach is listening to you? Does you coach give you advices or does s/he help you to find your own solutions? Does s/he do the talking all the time or does s/he let you talk? Does s/he ask you questions that make you think and clear up your mind? Does s/he show you empathy, compassion, understanding or there is judgement and criticism?
4.- Check the reviews of your life coach in the Internet
After pre-selecting your 3 to 5 candidates, google for some reviews, testimonials and comments of people about the life coach on social media like google +, Facebook, linkedin, yelp, tweeter, etc.
Something very important about coaching associations: Being a certified coach from the ICF does not mean that the coach is a good coach. Coaching associations main interest is about monopolisation of the coaching market and about earning their money with the very high fees of membership. As soon as the coach quit the membership, is not being considered anymore by the association. It is just about money and monopolisation of the coaching market. It is not about quality and standardisation.
5.- Don't fall in the package trap of many life coaching sessions
Be clear that you know better than any life coach in the world, when it is enough. If the coaching session was really effective, you don't need any more coaching sessions. A good coach will work his/her best to make the first session as if it were the last one, so you can find your solutions, piece of mind and what you needed, in just one session. That is exactly the difference between coaching and therapy. Coaching is pragmatic. The changes and solutions may occur in the session or between sessions. Therapy lasts years and the client is still confused and in pain.
There are many coaches that offer coaching session packages from 3 to 10 sessions and they are very expensive. This doesn't mean that they are more effective. It just mean, they want to earn more money. Normal fees are between 80 and 150 CHF per hour.
Remember something, you may not be a certified coach, but there is an intuitive coach inside of you. You have everything you need to identify the right life coach or personal coach in Zurich for you. Go and get your coach!
Life Coaching hilft Dir dein Glück zu erkennen
Für die meisten Menschen ist dies unvorstellbar, denn Glück ist für sie ein persönliches Gefühl, das sich nicht erklären lässt und daher auch nicht seriös gemessen werden kann. Aber trotzdem sind wir in der Lage gewesen, das Glück tief zu spüren und zu sehen. Wir haben gesehen, wie manche Menschen glücklicher als andere Menschen sind.
Wir haben grosses Glück und kleines Glück gespürt. Zum Beispiel, grosses Glück habe ich am meinem Hochzeitstag gespürt und als meine Tochter Patricia und mein Sohn Salvador geboren wurden. Kleines Glück habe ich erfahren, als ein fremdes zweijähriges Kind direkt zu mir gelaufen war und in meiner Eiscreme gebissen hat. Die Erinnerung an diese Ereignisse machen mich immer wieder glücklich. Aber, wie kann ich das messen?
Frau Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, auch als Mutter der Positiven Psychologie bekannt, hat wissenschaftliche Studien darübergemacht, wie man das Glück messen kann. Eine ihrer Methoden ist der sogenannte Positive Quotient.
Sie meint, dass ein positiver Quotient über 3 zu 1 ein erfülltes Leben bedeutet. Aber, was bedeutet ein positiver Quotient? Das ist das Verhältnis von positiven zu negativen Gefühlen. Eine Beziehung 3 zu 1 bedeutet, dass für jedes negative Gefühl während des Tages erlebt, braucht man mindestens 3 positiven Gefühle, um eine gute Wiederstandfähigkeit aufzubauen und ein erfülltes Leben zu erschaffen. Dafür ist Life Coaching das Richtige!
Wir können unseren positiven Quotienten selber beeinflussen und in unsere eigene Hand nehmen. Je mehr wir unsere Aufmerksamkeit auf das Positive einrichten, desto mehr positive Gefühle erfahren wir und als Folge, steigern wir unseren positiven Quotienten.
Life Coaching hat den Tag gerettet
Letzter Sommer ist meine Schwester Ada aus Holland in die Schweiz zu Besuch gekommen. Wir sind ein Mal mit dem Schiff von Brunnen nach Luzern gefahren und auf dem Weg zurück sind wir mit dem Zug gefahren. In Arth Goldau mussten wir umsteigen. Als wir in den neuen Zug einstiegen, fragte ich den Kontrolleur, ob der Zug nach Brunnen fährt. Der hat die frage nicht beantwortet, sondern uns nach draussen geschickt, er meinte, dass wir keine 1. Klasse Tickets hätten. Meine Schwester war beleidigt. Als Life Coach habe ich sofort an die Methode von Dr. Barbara Fredrickson gedacht. Ich wollte meine Schwester von dieser Situation ablenken und wollte unseren positiven Quotienten erhöhen. Ich sagte ihr, „Lass uns, bevor dieser Tag zu Ende geht, zehn Leute zählen, die nett zu uns seien werden.
Nach einer Weile haben wir eine junge Frau im im Zug kennengelernt, die sich mit meiner Schwester viel auf Englisch unterhaltet hat. Danach als wir im Restaurant Abendessen assen, haben sich die Kellnerin und der Kellner sehr in meinem hübschen Neffen interessiert und wollten wissen, woher meine Schwester und meine Neffen kamen. Nach dem Essen gingen wir am See spazieren und haben vier nette Nachbarn getroffen, die sich mit uns unterhalten hatten. Am Bushaltstelle trafen wir meine warmherzige Yoga Lehrerin und danach beim Bäcker haben wir viel mit der Bäckerin und ihrer Angestellten gelacht. Diese Erfahrungen hatten einen positiven Quotienten von einer negativen Erfahrung zu zehn positiven Erfahrungen. Der Tag war gerettet und meine Schwester hatte den Kontrolleur vergessen.
Life Coaching ist praktisch
Eine gute Hilfe, damit wir bewusst an den positiven Quotienten denken ist, mit Bohnen zu arbeiten. Wenn ich meinen positiven Quotienten erhöhen will, stecke ich eine Kaffeebohne für jedes positive Gefühl in die rechte Hosentasche und keine Bohne für die negativen Ereignisse, die sowieso nur die positive Energie wegnehmen.
Das Ergebnis ist, ich habe mich sehr wohl am Ende des Tages gefühlt.
Probiere deine kostenlose Sitzung JETZT mit SUCCESSCHOICES
Advantages of Executive Coaching for Managers
An important part of executive coaching is to train their leaders with management coaching skills. This article invites managers and any person with a mentor role inside a company, to learn tools that will help them to develop coaching skills in order to help them dive into the human dimension of their employees, establish connection, discover their strengths and align these resources in a symbiotic way with the expectations of the organisation.
In SUCCESSCHOICES the coaching training for the leadership level of a company supports managers to learn the basic principles of managerial coaching that will help them develop their own expertise as coaches at work, like learning how to have a conversation asking good, open-ended questions that allow the people they are coaching to reflect on what they are doing and how they can do things differently in the future to improve performance.
Studies have shown that managers who find the time to coach their people, help them to become the ideal talents that the company needs.
Managers that invest more time coaching and helping their people to develop have better teamwork and get better results. They focus on discovering their people's potential and help them to unfold. They are educating their Team and creating leaders from inside the organisation. This promotes motivation, trust and reduces significantly the rotation rate.
Taylor-made Coaching Training Programs for Organisations
In SUCCESSCHOICES the Executive coaching training programs may vary from one up to four modules or seminars. It depends on the availability and the needs of the organisation's leadership.
These are executive training programs designed to prepare individuals to facilitate formal coaching engagements inside their organisation. SUCCESSCHOICES methodology is unique to build solutions, it is goal oriented and uses the latest coaching techniques based on neuroscience studies. We teach leaders how to use a solutions-focused, outcome-driven approach to guide and develop others.
Only for organizations we provide a coaching training program that can be designed into isolated seminars adapted to the needs and availability of their leadership. In other words, we deliver straight-to-the-point trainings, that also will be accredited as part of the certified life coach basic training program.
The participation in the coaching training program starts a personal process for self development that bring a new insights of life understanding to every participant.
Maria Griselda Mueller
is a professional coach specialized in expats and cross-cultural support. She is originally from Venezuela, has lived in more than ten countries around the world and has a Master certification in psychological coaching.