Coaching with a Positive Style

In my previous blog with the title, Experience being a Life Coach, I explained about the solution focus brief therapy, the energetic pace, the systemic-energetic-gestalt approach and the relation of neuroscience in coaching. In this post I will introduce you to something new, coaching using a positive oriented method.

What is Coaching with a Positive Oriented Method?

As we know, a solution oriented approach is a very objective method, identifies previous successes, defines solution strategies and it is very goal oriented and that is great. But I have realized while working with this method, that achieving a goal implies much more than that. This means, sometimes we can have a well defined goal but it does not inspire us enough to achieve it, so the goal stays put.

Another example is that sometimes the goal is really ambitious or really big, and we start feel scared to commit or to go after it because it doesn’t go with our core values or because we can disadvantage another person if we achieve this goal, etc… So ,it is time to look for the positive in ourselves and bring it to our goal. In this way, our goal is a positive solution for us. In other words, we work with solution and positive oriented goals.

This positive oriented method is based in some of the techniques and models of Positive Psychology. This  discipline is use to help people to identifying and nurturing their strongest qualities, what they own and are best at, and helping them find niches in which they can best live out these positive qualities (Martin Seligman).

Coaching with a positive oriented style is not Positive Psychology, but a small derivate of it. Positive Psychology is a huge and broad discipline that is growing with new studies and researches every day.

There is so much information about Positive Psychology out there, that it will overwhelm you if you try to reach the whole scope. In my coaching workshops in Success Choices, we will talk about some practical tools that we will use for ourselves and our clients to promote wellbeing and development. One of these tools is the PERMA model (Martin Seligman) 
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An overview about the PERMA Model of Martin Seligman

There is a theory about well-being, called hedonism, that proposes that a balance of positive over negative emotions is all there is to living a good life. The topic of positive psychology is well-being. In his book “Flourishing”, Seligman presents the Well-Being Theory. He said that well-being is a construct. This means that we can build our well-being. To achieve and increase wellbeing, it is necessary to measure the elements that contribute to well-being. The PERMA model was created as a tool to measure these elements: positive emotions, engagement, meaning, positive relationships and accomplishment. Seligman makes clear that these elements  don't define well-being, they just help to achieve well-being. Let's see what these elements are about:

POSITIVE EMOTIONS: it is the ability to be optimistic and see the past, present, and future from a positive angle. This positive view in life can help you in relationships, work, and inspire you to be more creative and take more chances. This type of positive emotion is needed, as when someone enjoys the tasks in their lives they are more likely to persevere and battle challenges through creative and alternative solutions.

ENGAGEMENT: It is about something that completely absorbs us into the present moment, creating ‘flow’ or a blissful immersion into the task or activity. This type of ‘flow’ of engagement is important to stretch our intelligence, skills, and emotional capabilities.

RELATIONSHIP: Do you have a good relationship with yourself and others? Building positive relationships are important. It gives you support, love, friendship, good companion and when you also give love, support, and do something good for others, you feel also happy and fulfilled. Identify your good and your bad relations and get rid of the bad ones, Keep and nurture the good ones. This increase enormously your wellbeing and happiness.

MEANING: To understand what you do in any particular moment, and why you chose to do that, will help you enjoy life more and become more satisfied and happier.

ACCOMPLISHMENT: Having goals and ambition in life can help us to achieve things that can gives us a sense of accomplishment. You should make realistic goals that can be met and just putting in the effort to achieving those goals can already give you a sense of satisfaction, when you finally achieve those goals a sense of pride and fulfillment will be reached. Having accomplishments in life is important to push ourselves to thrive and flourish.

Being aware of these elements when we take a decision or define a goal is a good way to plan wellbeing in the moments to come, in the future. And being aware of this elements in the present moment, help us to live a better life.